Real life:Our down syndrome child has no limits

Two years ago, our family was blessed with the most incredible gift – our baby girl, Dhiya was diagnosed with Down Syndrome at birth.

The cannot’s and will not’s associated with Down Syndrome

I look back to the time when I was first told that our unborn baby would have Down Syndrome and being an avid reader, I remember reading everything I could about what to expect. I read about these kids not being able to walk or talk when they should, feed like they should, interact as appropriate, learn differently, not being able to integrate and countless other “cannot’s” and “will not’s” expected of these children.

Expectation is a funny thing

I had a fear of what was to come. I fell into the trap of conjuring up problems like not being able to travel, dealing with missed milestones, constant doctor visits, neglected siblings, and other negative thoughts.

This conditioning is something we all grow up with, an expectation of what should be, based on preconceived dogmas and teachings.

Expectation is a funny thing.

When you expect something you tend to count on it happening. My husband Vernon taught me an important lesson about expectation when Dhiya was born. He said “I don’t see anything wrong with her. She’s beautiful.” And indeed, she was and is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.

Changing my expectations

So my expectations of Dhiya changed. I expected her to walk and she did at 18 months. I expect her to talk, and she does say many words including “pizza” (her brother’s favourite food).

I realise that Dhiya is blissfully unaware of the stigma attached to her extra chromosome. That in her amazing mind she can kick a ball and perform dance moves just like her brothers (which she tries to do in the cutest, robot-like way). That she can point out her nose, her mouth and her eyes when asked to.

From expecting the worst at birth, to our absolute delight, we find ourselves with the most lively, chocolate-loving, daring, intelligent little sponge that learns at an incredible rate and that can do whatever we have the patience to teach her to do.

Defying limitations

And that’s it, isn’t it? It makes me think of Albert Einstein’s brilliant quote “Everybody is a genius. But, if you judge a fish by it’s ability to climb a tree, it will spend it’s whole life being stupid”.

So, we treat Dhiya like we have treated our sons growing up.

We reading and play with her as much as possible, exposing her to as many positive, learning experiences as we can. But most of all, not putting any limits on what we think she can achieve.

Believe me, we are under no misconception. We know what she has, but we don’t know what she may be and our job as parents is to help her become the best of whatever she chooses.

Our limiting beliefs that we have collected through our own experiences have been turned around by this incredible little girl that has changed our lives for the better. She has taught self-belief not only to us, but to every life she touches.

Article by: Yashmita Bhana

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