The post Be consciously present with your toddler appeared first on All4Baby.
]]>Open most books and magazines for parents and you will find lists of things you can do to maintain order and control. While some of the ideas work for a while, you still seem to be in a state of conflict, never achieving the results you want. How can this be and what more can you do?
Be consciously present. What does this mean? Pay attention to your child, making an effort to get to know your child in the same way you would get to know a stranger.
How well do you really know your child? “Of course I know my daughter,” my father would reply, “what a silly question!” Sadly, even though he’s been in my life for over 40 years, he doesn’t know me at all. He has perceptions and assumptions about me, but his perceptions of me are not who I really am.
Your child is as unique as his fingerprint. There is no one else like him in the world.
He may behave like his father, but he isn’t his father. She may look like your mother- in-law, but she isn’t that person.
Making assumptions about your child based on her looks or behaviour limits you from ever really getting to know the unique person he is.
From the moment a child is born we begin assigning labels and expectations to her.
“She is talkative, naughty, good, clever, stubborn-just like my mom”. “He’s got long legs I’m sure he’ll be an athlete like Uncle Johnny,” and so on.
These labels not only teach him how he should be, but restrict him from ever truly finding out who he is because this has been pre-determined by those around him.
In our attempts to make sure our children are successful we tend to tell them what they should do and how they should be, inadvertently stifling their passions, and sometimes imposing our dreams on them.
It is only by emptying our minds and being consciously present in the moment everyday with our children that we can ever begin to really know them.
We have to tune into them in the same way we dial into a radio station: we don’t always understand what is being said- sometimes we have a clear connection and at other times it is fuzzy and we have to listen a little harder.
Sometimes we have to listen to a song over and over before really understanding the words or the meaning behind the language. From time to time we can’t dial in at all as there is no connection and we have to try again.
We really have to pay attention to what we hear on the radio if we want to remember anything, and so it is with children. We have to tune in to them to really understand them.
Let them be by consciously paying attention to who they are. Keep the connection clear and strong by taking an interest in what gives them joy and pleasure. Let them express their desires, dreams and wishes without passing judgment. Allow them to make mistakes and learn from their failures.
Teach, guide and support, but let them discover their own uniqueness and in doing so fill them with a special kind of love – of feeling understood by their parents.
About the Author: Claire Marketos www.inspiredparenting.co.za
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]]>Okay, this might seem obvious, but I’m going to make sure I say it loud and clear anyways…
Don’t make your child angry at bedtime!
Seems like common sense, but you’d be surprised how many clients I’ve worked with who insist on including baths in a bedtime routine — even though their child HATES taking a bath.
When I ask them why they’re forcing their child to do something that he or she hates right before bedtime, they usually say, “Because that’s what I was told to do.” Their mom or sister or friend told them that ALL children need a bath before bedtime, so they just started doing it. But trying to get your child to do something she hates right before bedtime is a flat-out bad idea.
Tempers flare, tears are shed and your child gets so emotionally wound up that it takes much longer for her to calm down and get back into her happy place.
So make sure your bedtime routine includes only activities that are enjoyable for your child.
Specifically, somewhere between 20 and 30 minutes, from start to finish.
Why? Well, you want it to be long enough to get your child calmed down, relaxed, and ready for sleep.
Plus, bedtime is a wonderful way to spend time bonding with your child. For many parents, it’s the best “quality time” you’ll spend with your child all day.
However, if you let your bedtime routine drag on for too long, you risk letting your child get overtired, which makes falling asleep much more difficult!
Tip Three: No sugar or TV right before bed
Yes, I know this one sounds “preachy,” but if you’re giving your child sweets (or juice) right before bed, it’s going to be harder for him to fall asleep. Same thing goes for letting a child watch TV right before bed.
The juice or sweets will give him a “sugar rush” of jittery energy, which is the last thing we want before bedtime. And, watching TV or playing on the computer can (for lots of children) overstimulate them.
Is letting your child doze off BEFORE you put them into bed. Now, I know it’s tempting for many parents to let their child fall asleep while rocking, bouncing, or feeding. After all, for many toddlers, this is the way they’ve ALWAYS gotten to sleep. Unfortunately, it’s also the reason why they tend to wake frequently in the night.
About the Author: Good Night is a child and baby sleep consultancy that specialises in helping parents with children who struggle to sleep soundly. For more information, visit: www.goodnightbaby.co.za
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]]>Official bedtime is 7pm. What follows is countless trips in and out of your toddlers bedroom, cajoling him or her to go to sleep.Sound familiar?
Many parents of young children face the same scenario. These two parents put together a funny (but very true) video of them trying to put their toddler to sleep. The video sees the two going through the various stages of sleep cajoling; proclamation, appeasement, getting tough, bargaining, staying strong, regrouping and begging.
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]]>The post Picky, picky – advice for dealing with your fussy toddler appeared first on All4Baby.
]]>Yet still he refuses to eat, and mealtimes have become a continuous struggle.
Although it can be very distressing for parents, be reassured that in most cases fussiness is a normal phase of development and children are unlikely to come to harm, eating poorly for a short while.
Dietician and Pampers® Institute expert Claire McHugh offers advice on what you can do to deal with fussy eating habits.
Remember that getting used to the new routine of meal times and a variety of new foods is part of growing and learning for your toddler.
McHugh recommends that you focus on providing them with a positive feeding environment. “An enjoyable eating atmosphere at meal times helps. Encourage your toddler to sit at the table with the family during meals and let them eat what the family eats, he needs to be exposed to a good variety of food, and when he sees you enjoying the food, this will encourage him to also enjoy and eat his food,” says McHugh.
Part of picky eating is your toddler asserting his independence. Let your toddler be involved in his food choices. Avoid giving your child free rein, but allowing them to choose between two healthy options, will help your toddler to feel more in control and willing to eat the food,” suggests McHugh.
When your baby refuses textured foods, this doesn’t mean he dislikes it. Children need time to adjust and explore new tastes and textures. Spitting out his first pureed foods is part of his learning and adjusting to a new way of eating.
Spitting out purees are often your baby’s way of telling you he is ready to progress to finger foods. Allow your baby to start experimenting with soft finger foods like cooked pieces of vegetable and soft ripe fruit. This may be messy, but it is a very important stage and a great way to encourage better intake.
McHugh also explains that it can take between 15 to 20 exposures to a new food before your baby gets used to it and accepts it. Offer new foods alongside old favourites, to help keep the meal enjoyable and ensure that something is eaten.
Make sure that your toddler gets his meals and snacks at regular times each day. This ensures that they have a good appetite at meal and snack times.
Limit the amount of juice offered and restrict milk to a maximum of 500ml per day. This will ensure that the child isn’t filled up and will have a better appetite for meals, advises McHugh.
Praise him when he does eat his food, but don’t give too much attention to food refusal. In many cases all the fuss created when food is refused can encourage this behaviour.
As a parent, there’s no denying that the amount of food your child eats can make you really worry about their health. You constantly have to wonder if they have had enough or what to do to make them eat more, but forcing them or shouting at them is not the best way of handling this stressful situation.
Force-feeding your child creates a negative association with those foods and mealtimes and just makes the problem worse.
Persevere; most picky and fussy eaters start eating better over time. However, if your child has excluded a full food group for an extended period, taken only a small number of foods or excluded certain textures, it may be worth seeking professional advice.
Your dietician or doctor can recommend a nutritional supplement to help meet nutritional requirements while the fussiness persists.
”To help meet calorie requirements, accepted foods can be fortified or enriched by adding butter, cream or oil to make them as energy dense as possible,” concludes McHugh.
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