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]]>If we, the parents understand the changes they are going through and their needs during this period, it can help us to manage this time better.
From about 18 months, toddlers begin seeing themselves as separate from their mothers, and they express their newly discovered independence by defying their mother and other adults, especially when they are given an instruction.
They also become more aware of themselves, and therefore self conscious. They are able to feel new emotions such as embarrassment and guilt, which they couldn’t feel before.
As toddlers, try to make sense of the new feelings they are experiencing, they watch and learn from their parents and teachers when to feel blame, shame, or pride.
They also begin using new words, and will start expressing themselves, utilising words like “no” as they assert their independence.
Two-year-olds still have a limited vocabulary and can’t always express themselves properly, so they tend to become frustrated.
They also struggle to regulate their emotions and can become very angry, having the occasional emotional outburst or tantrum.
They will make attempts to control themselves by covering their ears and eyes, or changing the game they are playing, but they are not always successful.
This is a time of experimentation for them, as they find their place in the world, and so they need patient, compassionate, warm, loving parents and teachers who can guide them in expressing themselves effectively, and learning socially acceptable behaviour.
Using punitive methods like smacking, shouting, and time out to control their behaviour for example, teaches them to feel embarrassment, guilt or shame for trying to express themselves.
In addition, having adult expectations for toddlers is unrealistic. It takes time for them to fully understand what they are feeling and appropriate ways of expressing themselves.
Create opportunities for them to be independent, and role model acceptable behaviour for them.They are watching the adults around them all the time.
By focusing on the positive rather than saying “no” all the time, will not only give them the independence they want, and make them feel good and masterful over their environment, but it will also give them the words for positive communication.
Here are some ideas for giving toddlers what they need, while keeping them safe. Remember your child’s safety is always important:
“I can see you like to jump. Let’s go and jump outside, rather than on mommy’s bed where you can hurt yourself.”
“You can mix the paints when we are on the grass.”
“Yes you can walk on by yourself.” (Choose a place like a park, where you can let them go, but be a safe distance behind them.)
“Will you help mommy with the shopping?” Allow them to take items off the shelf and place it in the trolley. Use one of the smaller children’s trolleys if they are available.
Let them feed themselves somewhere where it doesn’t matter if they mess, like in the kitchen.
Teaching them empathy, which is the ability to put yourself in someone else’s position, consider what they are feeling, and respond in a sensitive way, helps toddlers to understand that their behaviour impacts on others. “Mommy feels sad and angry when you smack, or shout at her.” Of course your child feels the same way when you smack, or shout at him. ” We don’t smack in this house because we don’t want anyone to feel angry and sad.” Teach mutual respect.
Allow them opportunities to vent their frustration or throw a tantrum, and acknowledge their feelings. Tantrums can be a stress relief for the child.
Find a safe, private place especially in public where they can be angry. “I know you’re very cross right now because mommy wouldn’t buy you the toy. It’s OK to be angry.”
As your toddler feels more independent, comfortable with her feelings and increases her vocabulary, she becomes more co-operative and competent at controlling her emotions.
The second year can be a tremendous time of discovery if you remain positive and calm.
About the Author: Claire Marketos www.inspiredparenting.co.za
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]]>The post Picky, picky – advice for dealing with your fussy toddler appeared first on All4Baby.
]]>Yet still he refuses to eat, and mealtimes have become a continuous struggle.
Although it can be very distressing for parents, be reassured that in most cases fussiness is a normal phase of development and children are unlikely to come to harm, eating poorly for a short while.
Dietician and Pampers® Institute expert Claire McHugh offers advice on what you can do to deal with fussy eating habits.
Remember that getting used to the new routine of meal times and a variety of new foods is part of growing and learning for your toddler.
McHugh recommends that you focus on providing them with a positive feeding environment. “An enjoyable eating atmosphere at meal times helps. Encourage your toddler to sit at the table with the family during meals and let them eat what the family eats, he needs to be exposed to a good variety of food, and when he sees you enjoying the food, this will encourage him to also enjoy and eat his food,” says McHugh.
Part of picky eating is your toddler asserting his independence. Let your toddler be involved in his food choices. Avoid giving your child free rein, but allowing them to choose between two healthy options, will help your toddler to feel more in control and willing to eat the food,” suggests McHugh.
When your baby refuses textured foods, this doesn’t mean he dislikes it. Children need time to adjust and explore new tastes and textures. Spitting out his first pureed foods is part of his learning and adjusting to a new way of eating.
Spitting out purees are often your baby’s way of telling you he is ready to progress to finger foods. Allow your baby to start experimenting with soft finger foods like cooked pieces of vegetable and soft ripe fruit. This may be messy, but it is a very important stage and a great way to encourage better intake.
McHugh also explains that it can take between 15 to 20 exposures to a new food before your baby gets used to it and accepts it. Offer new foods alongside old favourites, to help keep the meal enjoyable and ensure that something is eaten.
Make sure that your toddler gets his meals and snacks at regular times each day. This ensures that they have a good appetite at meal and snack times.
Limit the amount of juice offered and restrict milk to a maximum of 500ml per day. This will ensure that the child isn’t filled up and will have a better appetite for meals, advises McHugh.
Praise him when he does eat his food, but don’t give too much attention to food refusal. In many cases all the fuss created when food is refused can encourage this behaviour.
As a parent, there’s no denying that the amount of food your child eats can make you really worry about their health. You constantly have to wonder if they have had enough or what to do to make them eat more, but forcing them or shouting at them is not the best way of handling this stressful situation.
Force-feeding your child creates a negative association with those foods and mealtimes and just makes the problem worse.
Persevere; most picky and fussy eaters start eating better over time. However, if your child has excluded a full food group for an extended period, taken only a small number of foods or excluded certain textures, it may be worth seeking professional advice.
Your dietician or doctor can recommend a nutritional supplement to help meet nutritional requirements while the fussiness persists.
”To help meet calorie requirements, accepted foods can be fortified or enriched by adding butter, cream or oil to make them as energy dense as possible,” concludes McHugh.
The post Picky, picky – advice for dealing with your fussy toddler appeared first on All4Baby.
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