All4Baby » trouble trying to conceive https://all4baby.co.za From Pregnancy to birth to baby and beyond. The place to find, chat, and share. Wed, 09 Jul 2014 10:58:25 +0000 en-US hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=192 A males perspective on infertility https://all4baby.co.za/falling-pregnant/infertility/750/males-perspective-infertility/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=males-perspective-infertility https://all4baby.co.za/falling-pregnant/infertility/750/males-perspective-infertility/#comments Fri, 23 May 2014 08:56:05 +0000 https://all4baby.co.za/?p=750 Did you know that today, one couple out of every six is coping with the challenges of infertility? In approximately 30- 40% of these couples, the infertility is due to a problem on the male side.

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June is a month where Father’s Day is celebrated across the board! Everywhere you look and everywhere you go there are reminders to celebrate your Dad and celebrate the privilege of being a Father.

However – this day is, for some, a sad and painful reminder that they have not yet been able to father a child or are battling infertility issues.

Did you know that today, one couple out of every six is coping with the challenges of infertility. In approximately 30- 40% of these couples, the infertility is due to a problem on the male side.

Men experience a range of emotions

Regardless of whether the infertility is due to the male or to their female partner or is unexplained, it is also common for men to experience a range of emotions. These feelings are often unexplained and unexpressed and may lead to behaviors and actions that are misunderstood by others.

Men are sometimes perceived as being unable or unwilling to talk about their feelings and experiences. Pregnancy, childbirth, and parenting are seen as a women’s realm and fertility and medical treatments often focus more specifically on women.

Men are often left out

Our society also abounds with images of women as mothers, carers and nurturers much more than those of men as fathers and carers. The voices and thoughts of men are therefore often missed, silent and forgotten.

To fill this void, men who have been through the infertility journey are now starting to write about their experiences and about aspects that they have found to be valuable and supportive.

 Some of the ideas are

Men may feel a wide range of emotions, including anger, sadness, confusion, anxiety, humiliation, guilt, embarrassment and shame. Such experiences may be due to feeling one or, indeed, many of the following:

  • Saddened by the loss of their ability to provide for their family- “ I’ve let my wife down”, “I feel less of a man”
  • Unable to protect their partner & their couple relationship from pain & intense emotions due to the roller coaster of infertility treatment and interventions and ongoing feelings of grief and loss
  • Full of self-doubt with the potential loss of manhood. Questions self- “who am I?”- “what is a man?”
  • Sexually inadequate
  • A loss of identity – may feel he does not meet cultural, spiritual, family and
  • Community expectations of himself
  • Sadness due to the loss of personal dreams and expectations to be a dad
  • Left out of the loop – as the focus of treatment is mostly on their wife or partner
  • Isolated – friends & family are getting on with it and having their own children
  • Powerless with a lack of control – “nothing I do seems to help”
  • Misunderstood – by partner, family, friends, work mates
  • Lonely- no-one to talk to who really understands and is without judgement
  • Fearful- “I want a child but am afraid it might not happen” “what sort of father will I be if I ever get there?

Tips for men dealing with infertility

  • Acknowledge your feelings. Find ways that work for you to deal with strong emotions such as grief, depression, anger e.g. regular exercise, massage.
  • Keep up social networks & interests.
  • Talk to someone you know will understand
  • Gain support. Work out who you can count on for emotional support & use them.
  • Find the right people to talk to. Don’t be afraid to seek counselling or emotional support- either as a couple or for yourself.
  • Acknowledge as a couple, that your individual experiences & responses to infertility & treatment may be quite different from each other – not better, not worse, just different.
  • Take control. Work out what you can control and what you can’t.
  • Nurture your relationship.
  • Self care. Pay attention to your physical, mental & psychological well-being.
  • Treat yourself. Remember to exercise, nurture yourself with things you love doing, consider relaxation & stress management options, eat well, & find a balance in your day-to-day life choices.
  • Look after your own health. Remain aware of your own needs and wants.
  • Remember that you and your partner are in this together.
  • Try to balance hope with compassion.
  • Try and avoid being “Mr Fix It”. Nurture yourself and your relationship. Listen without having to offer solutions.

About the Author: Prelox® is a patented blend of Pycnogenol and L-arginine designed to actively treat male infertility. For further information visit www.2tostartafamily.co.za or email [email protected]

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Infertility lingo explained! https://all4baby.co.za/falling-pregnant/infertility/671/infertility-lingo-explained/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=infertility-lingo-explained https://all4baby.co.za/falling-pregnant/infertility/671/infertility-lingo-explained/#comments Fri, 16 May 2014 09:05:49 +0000 https://all4baby.co.za/?p=671 More and more couples have to deal with infertility at some stage. Are you struggling with permanent, secondary or sub-infertility? We decode the lingo.

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An infertility diagnosis usually comes after a couple has been having unprotected sex for more than a year without falling pregnant. If you have been actively trying for that long, it is a good idea to make an appointment with your gynaecologist for further testing.

Permanent infertility

Unfortunately, this means that a couple is unable to achieve natural conception at all. Ulterior conception methods, such as in vitro fertilisation (IVF) usually follows a permanent infertility diagnosis.

The following conditions may cause permanent infertility;

  • Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS)
  • Endometriosis
  • Problems with Ovulation
  • Poor egg quality
  • Problems with a woman’s fallopian tubes

Secondary infertility

This diagnosis is given to couples who struggle to fall pregnant after already having conceived a child. Secondary infertility is usually a tough pill to swallow after a previous uncomplicated conception and pregnancy.

The causes of secondary infertility are usually the same as primary infertility. These issues have just developed after you have had your first child.

Sub-infertility

A Sub-infertility diagnosis is given to couples who are less fertile than the average couple. Being diagnosed with sub-fertility doesn’t mean that you won’t be able to conceive, it just means that the road to conception will be a little longer (and harder) for you.

Where does the problem lie?

It’s a common misconception that fertility problems lie only with the woman. But, research shows that 30% of the time, it’s actually the man that is the problem. Another 30% is attributed to the woman’s inability to fall pregnant, while the remaining 40% goes to a combination of both the woman and man having fertility problems.

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A natural supplement helped me fall pregnant https://all4baby.co.za/falling-pregnant/challenges/347/using-natural-supplement-fall-pregnant/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=using-natural-supplement-fall-pregnant https://all4baby.co.za/falling-pregnant/challenges/347/using-natural-supplement-fall-pregnant/#comments Fri, 11 Apr 2014 09:11:08 +0000 https://all4baby.co.za/?p=347 Struggling to fall pregnant is something that no woman wants to go through. Despite the disappointment, there is always hope. This is Lynette Barne's story.

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Lynette desperately wanted to be a mom. But after surgeries, artificial inseminations and two rounds of IVF, she still didn’t have a baby. It would take a miracle for her to get pregnant. Or so she thought.

A journey filled with disappointment

As her doctor spoke, Lynette Barnes fought back tears. She’d suffered through post-procedure office visits before, the kind where you talk about next time. But this time was different.

The fertility specialist said she could try IVF again, but “the odds of it working are very low,” he admitted. And after four years and almost a dozen failed procedures, she had to agree: another round would bring more heartache.

But how could she give up?

Don’t expect a baby right away

Is what Lynette had told herself when she and her husband, Tim, decided to start a family.

Still, when a whole year passed with not happy news to share , the worried couple saw a doctor.

Initial tests were hopeful. Their hormone levels were normal, Tim’s sperm count was good and 32-year-old Lynette was ovulating. But several months later, with no baby on the way, her doctor did a full fertility workup and discovered once of Lynette’s Fallopian tubes was blocked.

Surgery revealed she also had endometriosis, polyps and a fibroid cyst that needed to be removed.

“How could I have so many problems and not have had sign?”, Lynette reeled. The doctor was surprised, too, but the important thing was now that they were fixed.

“I’ll finally get pregnant!”, she thought.

Another year with no news

But another year passed with no joyful announcement. “I think we need help,” Lynette finally told Tim.

Hoping for a medical miracle, Lynette started taking Clomid to stimulate egg production and regulate ovulation. And when the timing was right, they tried artificial insemination.

“Please let this work”, Lynette prayed. But it didn’t.

Lynette was heartbroken. And so was Tim. But even though the drugs triggered mood swings, crying jags and angry outbursts and the disappointment was overwhelming – they wanted to try again. And again. And again.

Seven times in all, until the emotional – and financial – toll grew too high.

“I’m done,” Lynette wept. But something whispered, get a second opinion.

Moving onto IVF

“Mixing the eggs and sperm in the lab will increase the odds of fertilization”, advised her new doctor.

So Lynette took more drugs – this time by injection. There were daily blood tests. Then egg retrieval and, finally, two embryos – two possible miracles – were transferred.

But neither implanted.

“IVF often doesn’t work the first time”, Lynette reassured herself. If she didn’t try again, she would always wonder.

But a second attempt failed, too. And with each failure, the odds of IVF working fell. Until they were so low, there was no use trying.

There was no way she could go through another procedure. But being a mom was all she’d ever dreamed of. They knew adoption was an option, one they were considering.

Is there anything else?

Still, Lynette couldn’t help asking: “Isn’t there anything else?”

To her surprise, there was. She’d just read a study by Stanford University School of Medicine that proved a new all-natural supplement that could significantly enhance fertility.

The women’s formula contained;

  • Chasteberry, a herb proven to promote hormone balance and ovulation
  • L-arginine, which improves circulation to the reproductive area
  • Other reproductive-health-boosting nutrients, including green tea, vitamin E and selenium

“All good for you and safe,” the doctor said. “I’ll try it!” Lynette agreed. And though he didn’t have problems, Tim decided to take the men’s formula. “The more help, the better,” he said.

Don’t get your hopes up, Lynette cautioned herself as she swallowed her pill each morning. And when, after only two months, she started feeling queasy and her breasts hurt, she feared it was just wishful thinking.

So she didn’t tell Tim when she took a home pregnancy test. And even when she saw the plus sign, even though her heart nearly burst out of her chest, she thought… it could be a mistake.

Only after three blood tests to be absolutely sure did Lynette give Tim a card that read, “What are you doing November 11?” “Why?” he puzzled. “Because that’s the day we’re having a baby!” she beamed.

“The pills worked!” he said, stunned.

Baby Hannah turned out to be just a anxious for a family as her mom and dad, because she arrived two months early. Hannah came home after a few weeks in the neonatal intensive-care unit.

“Welcome Home!” Lynette choked, tucking Hannah into her crib.

Today, Hannah is eight months old, and Lynette still gets teary-eyed looking at her. “After all the fancy medical treatments, I can’t believe a little pill made me a mom,” Lynette says. “For us, it was miracle pill!”

Nuvida FertilityBlend for Men and for Women is distributed by Nuvida in South Africa and is available from selected stockists and direct from Nuvida. To order and for more information, success stories and clinical studies, visit www.nuvida.co.za

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Biological clock is for real https://all4baby.co.za/falling-pregnant/fertility-101/299/biological-clock-real/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=biological-clock-real https://all4baby.co.za/falling-pregnant/fertility-101/299/biological-clock-real/#comments Thu, 10 Apr 2014 08:46:22 +0000 https://all4baby.co.za/?p=299 The biological clock is no fallacy. It ticks away and the longer it ticks, the slimmer your chances become of conceiving a baby naturally.

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The example set by celebrity older mothers such as Geena Davis and Halle Berry as well as the increasing success and widespread availability of fertility treatments, lull many women into a false sense of complacency.

While there is a growing trend for women to put off becoming a mom until they are older, Vitalab Fertility Clinic’s Dr Merwyn Jacobson warns that the hands of the clock cannot be turned back.

“Fertility clinics can do a lot to help women in their 20s to mid-30s whose tubes are blocked or whose partners have a low sperm count, but age-related infertility is less promising.”

“The health risks to both mom and child are far greater once a women passes 35, with infertility, miscarriage and pregnancy complications such as gestational diabetes and pre-eclampsia becoming more common the older a woman becomes, as does the risk of having a baby with a congenital abnormality.”

Fertility declines at 35

Studies have shown that fertility begins to decline significantly after the age of 35, with an even sharper fall once a woman enters her 40s. At this time, the chances of having a miscarriage also rise. But Dr Jacobson acknowledges that there are many women who are not ready to have children during their most fertile period.

Balancing a career and the desire to have children is not always straightforward, and for many women, bearing a child is believed to be the easy part.

“We are not here to dictate when a woman should have a child, but we do want to dispel the myths surrounding later childbirth, and to give sound information about the risks associated with giving birth later in life,” explains Dr Jacobson.

“If you don’t have all the information, then you can’t make a realistic decision, and this can lead to heartbreak and regrets about delaying motherhood. Women need to realise that using fertility treatment is no guarantee of success; techniques such as IVF stimulate the release of more eggs but do not compensate for the effects of ageing on egg quality.”

Dr Jacobson adds that studies have shown that the live birth rate following IVF treatment for women aged under 35 is 31 percent. This figure falls to below five percent among women older than 42. Fertility also declines rapidly after the age of 35, making it much harder to become pregnant.

What about egg freezing? 

One of the latest infertility techniques is egg freezing, but Dr Jacobson said there is still too little known about the long-term effects of freezing, with regard to the women’s chances of becoming pregnant or potential genetic problems with the child.

“Women may think that they have an insurance policy with frozen eggs and may even decide to put off having children even longer, but there is no guarantee that these eggs will be viable,” says Dr Jacobson.

“This technique is without a doubt invaluable for infertility, but it is still in its infancy, and it does not overcome other age-related complications such as gestational diabetes and pre-eclampsia.”

The decision on whether and when to have a child would have to be one of the most important decisions a person can make.

Biology is unforgiving, but so too is the corporate world, and many women who make the decision to take a ‘pregnant pause’ during their career find the way back extremely difficult.

The desire to be in a stable relationship with a supportive partner or achieving financial independence also play a significant role in deciding when to have a child.

Dr Jacobson warns that women who do decide to wait until after they are 35 to have a baby need to consult a fertility clinic if they don’t conceive naturally almost immediately after trying, as the effectiveness of medical techniques also decrease the older you get. And he also reminds women that the ‘miracle’ babies like babies conceived by older mothers inevitably make headline news, whereas childlessness is a private and sorrowful experience.

For more information on fertility treatment visit www.vitalab.com

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