“This phenomenon (called duration neglect) is particularly interesting given the common use of epidural analgesia,” says psychological scientist Eran Chajut of the Open University of Israel, one of the authors of the study. “This form of analgesia was developed mainly to counter labour pain, but its everlasting influence on the memory of childbirth is important as well.”

Working with 320 participants, the researchers surveyed their labour, asking them to rate their pain on a scale of one to 100  (with 100 representing the worst pain) every 20 minutes.

They called the women two days after their births asking for an overall evaluation of the pain using the same scale, and did the same two months later.

Researchers found the women did not relate the duration of their labour to the pain they recalled.

Use of epidural was taken into account and the women reported similar levels of pain at the beginning of their labour whether or not they had been given one, but those who had given birth with an epidural remembered less pain overall, even if their labour had been longer than that of another who didn’t.

“In our study, mothers who received an epidural remembered their pain as relatively moderate – on average they rated their pain at around 70 after two days and about 65 after two months,” explains Chajut.

The study was published in Psychological Science.

(AFP Relaxnews)

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Physical contact essential for development

Physical contact with babies is essential for their physical and psychological development. This lesson has been learned the hard way, as infants neglected in hospitals and orphanages developed many problems, ranging from depression to a more global failure to thrive. But, what types of contact are necessary and what are the beneficial effects of enriching physical contact?

In a new study, Dr. Ruth Feldman, a Professor at Bar-Ilan University, and her colleagues studied the impact of different levels of physical contact on prematurely born infants.

Kangaroo care or skin-to-skin

“In this decade-long study, we show for the first time that providing maternal-newborn skin-to-skin contact to premature infants in the neonatal period improves children’s functioning ten years later in systems shown to be sensitive to early maternal deprivation in animal research,” said Feldman.

Specifically, the researchers compared standard incubator care to a novel intervention called “Kangaroo Care” (KC), which was originally developed to manage the risk for hypothermia in prematurely born babies in Columbia, where they struggled with a lack of access to incubators. This method, in essence, uses the mother’s body heat to keep their babies warm.

They asked 73 mothers to provide skin-to-skin contact (KC) to their premature infants in the neonatal unit for one hour daily for 14 consecutive days. For comparison, the researchers also assessed 73 premature infants who received standard incubator care. Children were then followed seven times across the first ten years of life.

They found that during the first half-year of life, mothers in the KC group were more sensitive and expressed more maternal behaviour toward their infants. Children in the KC group showed better cognitive skills and executive abilities in repeated testing from six months to ten years.

Benefits ten years later

At ten years of age, children who received maternal contact as infants showed more organized seep, better neuroendocrine response to stress, more mature functioning of the autonomic nervous system, and better cognitive control.

“This study reminds us once again of the profound long-term consequences of maternal contact,” commented Dr. John Krystal, Editor of Biological Psychiatry. “The enhanced level of stimulation provided by this contact seems to positively influence the development of the brain and to deepen the relationship between mother and child.”

Premature birth a major health concern worldwide

Premature birth is a major health concern worldwide, with approximately 12% of infants born prematurely in industrial societies and significantly more in developing countries. While modern medicine has substantially increased the number of surviving premature infants, many suffer long-term cognitive difficulties and problems in neurobiological systems that support stress regulation and the organization of arousal and attention.

Feldman highlights that “Kangaroo Care is an easy-to-apply intervention with minimal cost and its multi-dimensional long-term impact on child development calls to integrate this intervention in the care-practices of premature infants across the world.”

Article source: Elsevier via Science Daily.

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Early versus late epidurals

An epidural is a pain relieving local anaesthetic that is given as an injection into the spine. It is commonly offered to women in labour who request pain relief and is effective in reducing pain. However, previous studies have suggested that the timing of an epidural can prolong the duration of labour as well as increase the chances of needing a Caesarean section. With this in mind, Cochrane researchers collected the best available evidence on early and late epidurals and compared their effects.

The right time for an epidural is when the mom-to-be requests it

“The right time to give the epidural is when the woman requests pain relief,” said lead researcher Dr Ban Leong Sng, who is also the Deputy Head and Senior Consultant of the Department of Women’s Anaesthesia, KK Women’s and Children’s Hospital (KKH), Singapore. “If they request an epidural early during their labour, the evidence we have does not provide a compelling reason why this should be refused.”

The Cochrane researchers reviewed data from nine studies involving 15 752 first-time mothers who were randomly assigned to “early” or “late” groups. During labour, those in the early group were given epidurals when they were less than four to five centimetres dilated, while those in the late group waited until they were four to five centimetres or more dilated.

When the results were analysed, those who had early epidurals were no more or less likely to need a Caesarean section than those who had late epidurals. Earlier epidurals made no difference to the likelihood of needing an assisted birth involving forceps or suction, or to the amount of time spent in the second, ‘pushing’ stage of labour. For other aspects that were measured, early and late epidural also had similar effects.

Does an earlier epidural lead to shorter labour?

Although the researchers found no effect of early epidural on the length of time spent in the pushing stage, they were unable to reach firm conclusions about effects on the time to reach full cervical dilation. “We can’t rule out the possibility that starting epidural pain relief earlier may lead to shorter labour,” said Sng. “This is because there was a lot of variation in the results of the studies we looked at in terms of the length of the first stage of labour.”

Article source: Wiley via Science Daily.

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I feel obligated to tell you that I have decided to have another c-section.

Say what?

Here’s the short version of my first birth:

I found out at 36 weeks pregnant that Everett was breech. I did everything in my human power to flip him around (picture me lying upside down on an ironing board with frozen fried rice on the top of my stomach and headphones in my underwear). Nothing worked. I even had a painful procedure done where a doctor stood over me and manually tried to turn the baby with her hands. That didn’t work either. So, my casual laid-back birth plan of maybe-I’ll-use-a-birthing-tub/maybe-I’ll-use-a-doula/maybe-I’ll-use drugs turned into C-SECTION OR BUST. I had no choice.

And Everett was born healthy as could be and we were all fine.

This past January when I found out I was pregnant, I knew that I had a decision to make: VBAC or repeat c-section. That decision haunted me almost immediately, but I was grateful to have the choice.

And here’s where I am going to be totally, perfectly, 100% honest with you. The truth is: I had no desire to do a VBAC.

And nobody was shocked by this more than me.

I remember during my c-section, I explicitly asked the doctor to check out my insides and make sure there was nothing wrong with me. I remember asking that same doctor during my postpartum check-up if I would be a good candidate for a VBAC and feeling a sense of relief when she said yes.

So, what changed?

I have no idea. Time and perspective, I suppose. Looking back, I actually had a wonderful c-section experience. There were a lot of pros. It’s nice to know exactly when your baby will be born. It’s nice to show up at the hospital showered with clean hair and shaved legs. It’s nice to get the baby out of you in 15 minutes while you feel no pain whatsoever, and it’s nice to enjoy your first moments with your baby protected by a blue sheet bubble.

(Also, real talk: it’s nice to keep your lady parts in tact and not pee every time you sneeze.)

When I think back to my c-section with Everett, I remember it as a magical, wonderful, life-changing experience. I do not feel like I missed out on anything because I didn’t go into labour or feel contractions or tear certain things that were not meant to be torn. It was not the birth I had planned on, but it was the birth that I had. And because of that, the bright operating room and sterile environment that once terrified me is now my comfort zone. Meanwhile, the thought of doing a VBAC completely terrifies me. It feels foreign, and strange, and anxiety-inducing. I have a million fears about doing a VBAC, most of which are related to Everett’s 95th percentile head size and the possibility of ending up in a c-section anyways. I don’t feel confident about it, I don’t feel connected to it, and most importantly: I feel no burning desire to do it. 

So that, friends, is where I have landed. I have done the research. I have talked to the doctors and midwives. I have read the stats and gone over the risk factors with both options. There are risk factors with both options. And ultimately, I have chosen the path I believe will be best for my baby and my body and my mind and my soul, and that is to have another scheduled c-section.

Our sweet baby boy will be born on Monday, October 27th. Barring no complications, we should be home in time for Halloween so Everett can go trick-or-treating while I stuff my face with well-earned candy bars.

Here’s to all of our birth stories, whether they involve water tubs or hospital beds or the backseats of cars or operating tables.

Let us all remember we are blessed to bring babies into this world, no matter how they get here.

About the Author: Ashlee Gadd  is a Writer & Photographer. Founder of Coffee + Crumbs +instagram | twitter | facebook

The post The c-section elephant in the room appeared first on All4Baby.

Concern that the baby will get cold

The warmth from the mother’s body will be transferred to the baby during skin to skin and a blanket can be placed over the mother and baby if the temperature in the room is low. Babies that are placed skin to skin immediately after birth generally have better temperature regulation.

The baby needs to be examined

The only time the baby needs to be taken off the chest may be for weighing which can be done after one hour of skin to skin contact. Most other examinations can be done with the baby on the mother’s chest as this contact helps to stabilise the baby’s breathing and heart rate.

Mom needs to be stitched

The baby can remain on the chest during this process. This will have a calming effect on the mom and also reduces baby’s crying, so stress and energy use are kept to a minimum.

Baby needs to be cleaned

This is not completely necessary as the baby can just be wiped down. If the mother is the first person to hold the baby, bonding occurs and the baby is able to find its way to his mother’s breast and self attach. This initial period will also help the mother to pick up on feeding cues from her baby which will help with future breastfeeding practices. The moments after the birth of a baby are precious to the mother and to be separated from her baby does more harm than good. It is important that hospital staff are made aware of the desire to practice skin to skin. About me and skin to skin: While working in the government sector for two years I did a lot of education to nursing staff in maternity units regarding the importance of skin to skin contact. Once they themselves got the opportunity to see the benefits that it had on initiating feeding, calming the mother, aiding milk production and stabilising heart rate, it very quickly became a non negotiable practice. Breastfeeding and delivery practices have always been a huge interest of mine as the initial hours of the baby’s life are so precious and every mother has the right to spend them with her child.

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Just hours earlier, we went out to a fancy dinner and I ate as much as I could possibly fit into my stretched out belly in preparation for the 12-hour fast. We talked about you, of course, and us, and about how life as we knew it was about to change forever. It was the kind of change that I had waited for my whole life – the same change we had prayed for, hoped for, wished for all along. That date night was a gift, you know. One of the (many) pros of having a scheduled c-section is having one last night to prepare yourself for the fact that your entire life is about to turn upside down.

As I brushed my teeth later that night, the reality of what was happening washed over me.

It was our last night as Brett and Ashlee.

The last night of being two, of being married without children, of being us.

And it shook me, deep down in my soul.

All I could do was cry. It was a weird mix of sad and happy, the very definition of bittersweet. My own tears were confused as they streamed down my face. I cried and cried and cried some more, while your daddy wrapped his arms around me and prayed for us. He was calm and collected as always, but I think he was equally terrified.

Twelve hours later, they put you on my chest, and from the instant your skin touched my skin, I knew I couldn’t breathe without you.

To know you is to love you, Everett, and I loved you the second I knew you.

When I saw you for the first time, I knew you were mine. There was no question, no doubt, no regret, no sadness, no confusion, no anything. My body was still cut open on the table, but I had never felt so whole.

From that minute, Ev, I have never looked back. I have never once thought back to the time when daddy and I were just us and wished we were still that way. Not once. I cannot imagine life without you, and I want you to always know that my life improved in every way humanly possible the exact second you entered it.

There are so many things you will never remember about this time. You will never remember life as an only child, and that makes me sad, because these have been two of the most wonderful years of my life.

For two whole years, I have held only you. I have rocked only you to sleep and tickled only you on the carpet and kissed only you goodnight between the crib rails. You’ll never remember sitting in the rocking chair reading books or sitting on the kitchen counter swiping chocolate chips out of the mixing bowl or lying in my lap for Curious George marathons. You’ll never remember all of our mommy and son dates to the zoo and the train museum and the ice cream shop and the park. You’ll never remember your solo bedtime routine or the way I rub lavender baby lotion on your skinny legs after a bath. You’ll never remember how we sing in the car, just you and I, or the way you roll toy cars up and down my tummy while we’re curled up on the couch.

You’ll never remember all these times, these hours, these days filled with enough love to cover the sky.

And it’s okay that you won’t remember them, because I know that I will. I’ll remember them for both of us, and I’ll write down our stories as best as I can as we go along.

And Ev, I want you to know that the night before your brother is born, I will cry. I will cry so, so hard. Because just like the night before you were born was the end of two, the night before your brother is born will be the end of three. And I will be sad and happy and my tears will be confused again and it will be nothing short of bittersweet.

But make no mistake, my sweet boy. You, Everett, were the one who made me a mother.

And nobody will ever, ever replace you.

I love you, Ev.

About the Author: Ashlee Gadd  is a Writer & Photographer. Founder of Coffee + Crumbs +instagram | twitter | facebook

The post The night before you were born appeared first on All4Baby.

Most effective during the early and active stages of labour

In labour, oils can be used at different stages in a myriad of ways. As a doula, I’ve found aromatherapy most helpful during the early and active stages of labour. When used correctly, aromatherapy can make a successful shift and center the mother’s energy.

Oils should be pure and therapeutic

To truly reap the benefits of aromatherapy, the essential oils should be pure and therapeutic grade. Make sure the oils don’t contain any synthetic fragrances, volume extenders, or less expensive oils as substitutes. Oils that are certified organic or ethically wild-crafted tend to be correctly extracted and from a reliable source.

The right oils are excellent during labour. The ones below are all safe to use during pregnancy, except for clary sage (it should be avoided until labour begins, because it’s a uterine stimulant and could cause premature contractions). Neroli, rose and ylang ylang oil blend together beautifully, but are equally effective when used individually. Peppermint is best used on its own in the second stage of labour, when you need a little “pick me up.” If you plan to use the oils directly on your skin, make sure to dilute them with a cold-pressed carrier oil, like almond, grapeseed or apricot kernel oil. However, lavender can be used right on the skin.

Be mindful: These oils are potent and should be used sparingly.

Determine your sensitivity before labour

Before heading into the L&D, it’s a good idea to build a positive association with your selected oil or chosen blend by incorporating them into any relaxation practices during pregnancy. It’s also a great way to determine your sensitivity and figure out whether you like the scent of the oils on your skin. Aromatherapy is perfect in long bath, while you meditate, or before you go to bed. Make sure to discuss aromatherapy with your care provider before using any essential oils.

Seven oils to make room for in your hospital bag

1. Neroli: Releases stagnant energy and encourages calm breathing
2. Clary Sage (avoid during pregnancy): promotes smooth contractions and provides pain relief
3. Rose Absolute: Encourages softening in pelvic ligaments & decreases anxiety
4. Geranium: Promotes mental balance and circulatory stimulation
5. Ylang -Ylang: Encourages relaxation and lowers blood pressure
6. Lavender: Eases breathing, provides pain relief and promotes deep relaxation
7. Peppermint: Reduces nausea and revives energy

Here are a few methods your partner or labour support can try:

• Massage: Add 12 to 15 drops of essential oil per ounce of carrier oil. Apply to the skin on popular labour massage points like the shoulders, hands and feet.
• Compress: Add eight to 10 drops of essential oil to two cups of hot or cold water. Stir to disperse oils. Soak a small washcloth, wring and place on the forehead. Repeat process every 15 minutes.
• Shower or Bath: Add 10 to 15 drops of essential oil to a full bath, or drop the same amount of oil on the floor of the shower for a similar aromatic effect.
• Diffuser: Add 15 to 20 drops of essential oil to your selected diffuser. If you’re in the hospital, where open flames are prohibited, consider using a battery or electrical powered flameless diffuser.
• Inhalation: Place 1 to 3 drops of essential oil on a cloth or your hands. Agitate the cloth or rub hands to distribute and heat the oil, place hands or cloth over your face, and breath deeply.

About the Author: Erica Chidi is the founder of The Mama Circle a modern resource for new and expectant parents in Los Angeles. In her capacity as a doula, lactation counsellor and chef, she helps women all over the world transition into motherhood with awareness and confidence through her holistic support services and her unique maternity coaching program TMC One-One-One. For more recipes, and information on pregnancy, birth and motherhood follow @themamacircle on Instagram.

The post Aromatherapy in labour: 7 essential oils that will ease the pain appeared first on All4Baby.

Pregnancy and time in the womb is the best preparation for you and your baby. But as he lies on your arms minutes after birth the realisation will dawn that all that time in the womb was really only the start and the real journey into becoming a little person begins as your baby emerges from womb to world.

The perfect state to meet mom and dad

Immediately after birth you will find your baby is very alert and attentive to you. There is a good reason for this. In the last few weeks in utero, your baby is contained in a very tight space with deep pressure from the womb walls. In addition during birth your baby moves down a very narrow canal. All this deep pressure touch (from the womb walls and the birth canal) is very soothing for your baby, like a deep massage, and is the reason for the calm alert state.

In addition, during the birth process, your baby’s brain releases stress hormones (cortisol and adrenaline) that are needed at the time of birth and just after. The combination of the stress hormones and the deep pressure put your baby in to an alert but calm state for the first few hours after birth. This state prepares your baby for bonding in the early hours and days. In this alert state, your baby will make eye contact with you, look at your face intently and even mimic your mouth movements!

This precious state provides a wonderful time to meet and engage with your baby.

Making eye contact

Until only a few decades ago, people believed babies were blind at birth, like newborn puppies. We now know that not only is this untrue but your baby can actually see in full colour and with perfect focus at a distance of 20cm. Any closer or further and your baby will lose focus.

Even more amazing is that 20cm is the distance from your eyes to your nipple so as your baby lies at your breast; he can focus on your face. Within minutes of birth, your baby’s eyes will move around the room in tiny movements we call saccades. He will continue to do this until his eyes lock in on yours. Your baby is wired to bond with you and searches for your face. Turn down the light as soon as he is born so that your baby is not startled by bright lights but can find your face and focus on you.

Prepared to feed

Your miracle baby will not cease to amaze you. Within an hour of birth, a baby placed on his mother’s chest can find his way to the breast and begin to feed with almost no assistance!

There are three critical reflexes that prepare your baby to do this. Firstly, when placed on his tummy on your chest, your newborn can coordinate little creeping movements that will bring him to his food source. Even more amazing, is the fact that at birth your baby can identify where your milk is just by smell. Newborns who are presented with two cotton wool swabs, one with his own mother’s milk expressed on to it and another with another mother’s milk will turn towards the smell of his own mom’s milk.

Once your baby finds your nipple, or is brought to the breast, the rooting reflex will help him orient to take your nipple into his mouth. The rooting reflex helps your baby to turn towards touch on the cheek. Then it’s the sucking reflex that helps your baby get feeding right.

I hear your voice

By 16 weeks in utero, your baby hears and responds to sounds. Of course the sound he knows best is the sound of your voice, which he hears often and clearly during pregnancy. Amazingly, within minutes of birth your baby will turn to your voice. He knows your voice and even can hear the difference between the language you speak and another. Right from birth your baby’s brain is wired to understand language and to respond to his mother tongue.

Within minutes of birth your baby will turn to your voice.

Hold me, touch me

Coming from the soothing sensory space of the womb, where your baby has had skin to skin touch for nine long months (his skin against your uterus walls), he will crave your touch.

Skin to skin care, which involves placing your naked baby (with only a nappy) on your naked chest and covering you both with a blanket is a wonderful way to ease your baby from womb to world.

Full term and prem babies do well with skin to skin care and your chest will act as a natural incubator to warm your baby up. Even babies delivered by caesarean section can be nurtured on mum’s chest immediately after birth, unless they are very fragile or medically ill.

Skin to skin care is a wonderful way to ease your baby from womb to world.

Time to sleep

Immediately after birth you will be on such a high and your baby will be in the calm alert state. This is the perfect time to begin the bonding process. However, after a period of engaging, you and your baby will be overcome with exhaustion. You will both do well to drop off to sleep. Your baby can sleep on you or in a crib right next to your bed.

Research has shown that babies who room in with their mums in the first three days, breastfeed for a longer time in the first year of life. If you are exhausted and have had a tough time and need to sleep without your baby in the same room, request he is brought to you to feed as soon as he cries.

Getting to know your baby

Your baby is a miracle, he comes equipped on a sensory level to bond, learn and interact with you. But that does not mean this period of ‘womb to world’ is a breeze. In utero your baby had all his needs met constantly without ever having to communicate his needs. Although your baby does have a language of his own from the early days, he may battle to interpret his internal sensory input and you may take time to learn your baby’s unique signals. Take the time to slow down and look out for them from early on.

The first 24 hours and the weeks that follow are an amazing journey of getting to know your baby. From his sight, hearing and early reflexes to his brain connections, your baby is wired to bond with you as a social being.

Take the time to engage with your baby and embark on the most special relationship of your life.

About the Author: Meg Faure is the co-author of the best selling Baby Sense and other ‘Sense-series books’. An Occupational Therapist, Meg has a passion for keeping little ones calm, sleeping well and developing optimally. Meg founded the Baby Sense company, lectures internationally and is a journalist in the field of baby care. Parent With Sense: Meg is active on various social media platforms. Like her Facebook Page (link to: https://www.facebook.com/MegFaureOfficial ) Follow @MegFaure on Twitter (link to: https://twitter.com/megfaure)  or Visit her website at www.megfaure.com

The post Womb to world: The secrets of your baby’s new life appeared first on All4Baby.

I smiled at the midwife nodding my head, all the while thinking, “Score! An ultrasound!”

I hadn’t seen my baby since our nineteen week appointment and was eager to see his little body swim around on the screen. She took me into another room and I pulled my shirt up again, ready for jelly. At my last two appointments, the midwives had felt my stomach and told me that our baby was head down. I was sure he was in the right position, but grateful for the extra precaution. The midwife grabbed the probe and placed it on my lower tummy, as I watched her eyes carefully.

“Hmm….” she mumbled.

She moved the probe to the top of my stomach and quickly said, “Well, I’m so glad we did this ultrasound. He’s breech.”

The words had barely left her mouth when the tears started falling. She flipped the monitor around so I could see but all I could make out were fuzzy black and white spots. How did this happen?

I tried to listen as the midwife comforted me. I heard her say something like three percent of babies at this stage are breech. THREE PERCENT? I AM IN THE THREE PERCENT?! How can that be? Everything has been so normal. So…easy. Every prenatal appointment the midwives and nurses have said things like, “Great blood pressure!” and “Amazing heartbeat!” and “Oh my gosh, your belly looks perfect!”

I couldn’t make sense of it. What had I done wrong? Is there something wrong with him? Why won’t he turn his head down?? I left the birth centre sobbing, and cried the whole way home. My sweet boy, we’ve made it all this way without one complication and now three weeks before your due date, THIS?

Brett came home from work to console me, and within an hour, I had pulled myself together and was ready for action. After reading a pamphlet from the birth centre and doing some research online, we had a plan in place. I was going to flip that baby around if I had to stand on my head all night. We decided to combine every home remedy into one, for the maximum potential for success. It looked a little something like this….

Me, lying upside down on an ironing board, holding a bag of Trader Joe’s frozen fried rice on the top of my stomach with a heating pad on my pubic bone and headphones securely fastened inside the top of my underwear. Meanwhile, Brett sat next to me shining a flashlight below my belly button, holding an empty toilet paper roll to my lower stomach saying things like “Baby, it’s your father, come down here… you know you want to step into the light.”

We repeated this process three times last night, in between forward inversions, cat-cow exercises, and a bath to help my body relax. I stepped into the tub and immediately burst out laughing. Brett had taped a picture above the faucet of a baby in the head down position with the caption, “C’mon baby! You can do it!”

When I wasn’t propped up on an ironing board or pillows, I sat very tall with headphones in my pants and a flashlight below my belly button. I talked to the baby. I prayed. I e-mailed my best prayer warriors and asked them to pray. If I couldn’t get the baby to turn in 24 hours, the midwife had suggested we come back for an external cephalic version procedure, which I was desperately trying to avoid.

At 4:30pm today, I was feeling equally defeated and optimistic. The baby had moved a LOT with our home tricks, but I hadn’t felt a complete turn. I was still holding onto hope that the version would work. There was a 50/50 chance.

We were at the birth centre for two and a half hours. The doctor, God bless her, pushed as hard as she could. I closed my eyes and breathed through the pain, saying “turn baby turn” in my head with each exhale. It was painful. Brett held my hand and told me over and over again how good I was doing. After five minutes of the doctor pushing and twisting my stomach, I asked her if it was working. I could tell it wasn’t. I could feel the tears coming but refused to give up. God, please make the baby turn. PLEASE.

Twenty minutes later, the doctor stopped, and I knew it was over. He hadn’t turned, and wasn’t going to anytime soon. He was being stubborn, just like his mom.

The tears were falling again, and the doctor started discussing our options. After measuring the baby’s head size, she told us a vaginal breech birth would be risky. She nonchalantly recommended a scheduled c-section at 39 weeks, and offered to put a date on the calendar right then and there.

Somehow in 48 hours my entire birth plan, which was pretty flexible to begin with, had been turned upside down. A c-section was never part of the plan. It was part of the if-there-is-an-emergency plan, but not part of the REAL plan. The plan that consisted of labouring at home and a water tub and a doula and possibly drugs if I needed them. All of that was suddenly gone. We politely declined her offer to schedule a c-section, and told her we’d prefer to wait until our next appointment on Wednesday, to see if the baby turns by then. She agreed that would be fine, and left the room.

Brett and I walked to the car, hand in hand. I was scared, disheartened, frustrated, and incredibly discouraged. I tried not to cry anymore. We made a quick plan for the night to take our minds off of everything: Chipotle, frozen yogurt, and Thursday night TV. It helped a little, but not much. My stomach is sore and bruised. I feel like I’ve been beaten up, physically and emotionally.

So, that’s where we’re at. I’m still holding onto hope for a miraculous turn, but I’m also trying to be realistic and prepare myself mentally for a scheduled c-section. It’s not how I ever thought I would bring a baby into this world, but if that’s what it takes to get him here, that’s what I will do. I told God before the version appointment that I trusted Him, and now it’s time to walk the walk.

My birth plan is in His hands now.

And really, there’s no better place for it to be.

About the Author: Ashlee Gadd  is a Writer & Photographer. Founder of Coffee + Crumbs +instagram | twitter | facebook

The post When life gives you lemons, or when your baby is breech appeared first on All4Baby.

When you have a baby, you are so blessed – everyone tells you how blessed you are and what a blessing this new life will be. Every media advert of a new mom and her baby paints a rosy picture of love and contentment. But what happens when your blessings don’t count – when you can’t see the rosy picture and when you feel so anxious about this new life you can hardly enjoy the simple moments of caring for your baby?

If this sounds familiar, you may well be suffering from baby blues or postnatal depression, otherwise known as postnatal distress. The word distress is a better descriptor for PND than depression because not everyone who has PND experiences depression. Many moms find the overwhelming symptoms are anxiety and fear, rather than sadness and despair.

As many as 30% of moms experience some form of postnatal distress, which encompasses a wide range of conditions, from baby blues to postnatal psychosis.

Baby blues

Baby blues are very mild and short lived. They are usually limited to the first few days after delivery and are strongly influenced by hormonal shifts. You may feel overwhelmed, sad, dependent and vulnerable. You may have difficulty sleeping and experience high levels of anxiety. However these feelings do not linger and within a week or two you love being a mom and look back on the feelings as opposed to having them linger.

Postnatal Psychosis

On the opposite end of the continuum is Postnatal Psychosis. This is the most severe form of postnatal distress. It is rare but exceptionally dangerous as the mom poses a risk to herself and/or her baby. Often the mom is out of touch with the severity of her symptoms. She may hallucinate or have episodes of mania. Psychosis is reason for admission to hospital.

Postnatal depression

Postnatal depression, which is somewhere in the middle of the range, is experienced differently by each person who suffers from it. Some moms feel very sad and have no energy or will to engage with their babies, while others are so anxious that they don’t interact with their little ones out of fear of harming the baby. Many moms feel angry, particularly towards their partners and may resent the world for going on while they are trapped in a tunnel with no light at the end of it.

Talk to someone

No matter what your experience of perinatal distress is, you should chat it through with someone.

After the birth of my first baby, I experienced baby blues for a short period. It would raise its ugly head each evening at about the same time and I would feel myself being sucked into a dark tunnel and feel utter dread for the night ahead and an inability to think about the next day and how I would cope. My saving grace was my mom, who would talk me through it. I would tell her as it was starting and she would help me fall asleep by massaging my feet. Having someone sit with me while I felt so desolate was a great help.

Effects of PND

PND affects not only your ability to carry out daily tasks such as planning meals, getting yourself dressed and caring for your baby, but it also affects the way you interact with your partner and engage with your baby.

Many women feel brittle and angry towards their partners – it feels unfair that he can escape the responsibility of this new life. Of course this is not a logical feeling or thought but then not much is logical when you feel this distressed. In addition, PND can impact on your interaction with your baby. It may prevent you from spontaneously engaging, making eye contact and responding to your baby’s little coo’s. On an emotional level this has negative effects on your baby.

It is these two effects of PND that pose a great risk for your future. Risking your relationship with your partner and not connecting with your new baby can have devastating long-term consequences. It is for this reason that you should seek help as soon as possible.

What to do

If you think you may have PND the first step is to find out if you do. PNDSA (Post Natal Depression Support Association) has an amazing website – www.pndsa.org.za. Here you can take an online test to see if you have PND. This would be the first step in the right direction. From there you can find the right intervention to help you manage your PND.

PND treatment options

If you do have PND, there are a variety of options for treatment:

• Your GP or gynae would be a good place to start – they may prescribe medication or refer you to someone to prescribe medication or counsel you. You will be prescribed an anti depressant that can be used whilst breastfeeding.
• Support groups are a wonderful way to manage PND as not only do you have the opportunity to talk through your feelings and fears but in addition you will find support simply knowing you are not alone.
• Private counseling is also a great option, allowing you to explore reasons for your feelings and heal by talking it through with a professional.
• There are also over the counter natural medications that do make a difference, especially if you have baby blues. But, if your symptoms are more severe it is preferable to use stronger possibly more effective medication.

PND and your family

When one part of a family is hurting or damaged, it may be hard to see the effects on the others. New research highlights the effect of PND on men and we are starting to acknowledge that dads may suffer from PND too. The life change and weight of responsibility affects men too.

Moms and dads, those with baby blues or more severe forms of PND should seek help. This is not a condition to be ashamed of – it’s common and can be treated.

Ref: Faure M & Richardson A Baby Sense 2010 Metz Press ◘ Lewis L When your blessings don’t count 2011 Metz Press

About the Author: Meg Faure is the co-author of the best selling Baby Sense and other ‘Sense-series books’. An Occupational Therapist, Meg has a passion for keeping little ones calm, sleeping well and developing optimally. Meg founded the Baby Sense company, lectures internationally and is a journalist in the field of baby care. Parent With Sense: Meg is active on various social media platforms. Like her Facebook Page (link to: https://www.facebook.com/MegFaureOfficial ) Follow @MegFaure on Twitter (link to: https://twitter.com/megfaure)  or Visit her website at www.megfaure.com

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