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]]>When and if a dad is supportive of a mom’s parenting skills and choices it is much easier to make positive changes.
It is important when teaching children how to sleep on their own, for dads to also help out with the bedtime routine and bath. I always encourage my client’s to take turns as it really helps your little one understand that it does not matter who does the bedtime routine, the same rules apply.
Children need both their parents.
If dad works long hours and comes home late, it is normal for children to resist bedtime; they miss their dad! Dads can do their best to arrive home a little earlier, and if needs be they can catch up on work once the children are tucked into bed.
If all else fails, and dads really struggle to spend time with the kids during the week, special quality time can be carved out for the children and their daddy over the weekend.
If divorced or separated, my suggestion is to involve the other spouse in deciding on the way in which you want to handle bedtime. As sleep is very often a discipline (especially when it comes to toddlers) it really helps if both parents follow the same “rules” at their houses.
Dads have such a calm demeanor. Sometimes in situations where moms get all flustered and stressed, dads have a knack to just pick up and calm the baby. Moms must remember to use daddies for their super skills! Always give dads a chance to parent!
And lastly, dads, if you get home just in time for bedtime, this is not the time to start the “rough and tumble” games that overstimulate your children. For calm nights, please try to resist the rough-housing urges.
About the Author: Good Night is a child and baby sleep consultancy that specialises in helping parents with children who struggle to sleep soundly. For more information, visit: www.goodnightbaby.co.za
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]]>If you want a great sleeper, then don’t choose a pacifier over the thumb. You are simply setting yourself up for failure.
The second the pacifier falls out of the baby’s mouth, they need someone to put it back in again.
By the time they are mentally and physically able to do it, (without calling for mom or dad in the middle of the night), they are three or four years old. That’s a lot of sleepless nights (1370 in total from three months to age four) which could lead to a lot more serious health and behavioral issues for your child.
Even if they can put it back in their mouths, you are still giving your child fragmented sleep. They will end up having a full arousal, put the soother back in their mouth and then go back to sleep. This is similar to you waking up to use the bathroom or looking at the alarm clock, noting the time and then going back to sleep. You remember these wakeful periods. Studies have shown that fragmented sleep is not as beneficial as consolidated sleep. When we get fragmented sleep, our bodies do not go into the deeper stages of sleep, and therefore we do not wake up feeling as refreshed the next morning. The same is true for babies and toddlers.
For babies, sucking on thumbs and fingers is a natural and intuitive process. We have all seen the pictures of babies who suck their thumbs while still in the womb. So, if your newborn or infant gravitates to a thumb or finger as a self soothing strategy – embrace it!
Celebrate that they have the ability to self soothe and will be better sleepers as a result.
When we sleep, we have partial arousals throughout the night. We come gently to the surface, scan our environment and then go back to sleep. These are the times that we adjust our pillows, roll over, pull up the blankets or snuggle up to our partner. In the morning, we do not remember them and therefore we wake up feeling more refreshed as we were able to get into the deeper stages of sleep. This is considered consolidated sleep. The same is true for babies and young children.
Just because you don’t use a pacifier, does not mean that your child will automatically choose a finger or thumb. Many babies and young children find other self soothing strategies such as cuddling with a small stuffed animal or a blanket.
If they do gravitate to fingers or thumbs, then early intervention is best. Some parents have reported that their babies spontaneously stopped sucking on their thumbs or fingers on or around their first birthday. If that does not happen, then you will want to engage in behaviour management techniques around two years old to stop any finger and thumb sucking while awake and then again around three to four years old for the sleep association.
About the Author: For more on baby sleep, visit Good Night on www.goodnightbaby.co.za
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]]>The post Follow these five baby sleep tips! appeared first on All4Baby.
]]>Believe it or not, it is the awake time not the sleep time that drives healthy sleep patterns. An over tired, over stimulated baby will struggle to fall asleep without extensive assistance such being rocked or fed to sleep. A baby who is calm and sleepy will fall asleep with ease, and with little intervention.
A lot of the time, an over stimulated baby will show signs of tiredness and sensory overload. These signals, such as irritability, pulling up of their legs, fisting of their hands, yawning, sneezing and hiccupping are often incorrectly attributed to winds and cramps. The caregiver then spends much time “fiddling’ with the baby, trying to break wind, checking for a dirty nappy and so on – all of which continue to over stimulate baby, resulting in ongoing fussy behaviour.
Having a consistent and calming sleep zone will ensure that your baby is able to fall asleep without resistance. This is especially so for older babies, who need a consistent and un-stimulatory sleep space in order to regulate themselves sufficiently to become calm so that sleep can follow.
Children, especially toddlers, thrive on routine. A flexible routine is important to ensure a healthy balance between sufficient play and stimulation time and quiet and calm time. Day time naps are still important until well into the toddler years.
Children should, ideally, be in bed and asleep by 7pm every night. Depending on your baby’s afternoon sleep pattern, bedtime could be as early as 6pm. Delayed bedtimes cause over tiredness, cranky behaviour and high levels of stress. Don’t be tempted to keep your baby awake just because dad is coming home late from work!
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]]>The post Use these tips to sleep train your baby! appeared first on All4Baby.
]]>It is important to communicate confidence and calm to your baby when you begin. He needs to see an emotion that makes him feel secure that you are comfortable with what you are doing.
It is no good to start with sleep training at bedtime only to relent later out of desperation and give your baby his ‘crutch’ (such as feeding to sleep). The message that your baby receives in this case is that he must cry long and hard to have the old method reintroduced. Any inconsistencies will simply prolong the process of sleep training.
Sleep training is an act of teamwork between you, your partner and your baby. It is completely essential that you all work together and do not undermine the process for each other.
If your child has developed a habit whereby he is dependent on you for sleep, he will protest within minutes (probably even seconds!) of you leaving the room: This is where the hard bit comes in. Accept that your baby is going to cry, however, you are going to control how long he is going to cry for and you are going to be there for him every step of the way. T
here are two methods of handling this – neither one is better than the other – do what feels right for you at the time. One thing though, remember to be consistent and stick to one method for at least a week.
If you are anxious about separating from your baby, and if you feel uneasy about leaving your baby on his own whilst he is learning to put himself to sleep, you may want to stay with him for the process. All sleep coaching is hard work and may be very emotionally draining, so if you feel angry and frustrated when your baby cries and feel that you might physically harm your baby out of tiredness and frustration, then this is not the sleep coaching method for you.
This method allows you to pick up your baby when he is crying and comfort him until he is calm, but it differs from the first method in that you actually leave the room for short periods of time from the beginning, before returning to pick him up to calm him once more. If you feel that you could possibly harm your baby physically (out of sheer exhaustion and frustration) this may the method of choice for you as you are able to step away from the situation for very short periods of time in order to catch your breath and re-focus on the goal in sight.
Changing unhealthy sleep habits is exhausting and the key to its success is to focus on the goal at the end of it all. Accept that you will be tired and frustrated at times, but try not to get bogged down in the immediate drama of the moment, and rather look at your long term goal.
The process of falling asleep unassisted is a skill that needs practice, so bear in mind that success comes only after a period of practice, so don’t give up!
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]]>The good news is that sleep training does not have to mean leaving your baby to cry for hours on end on his own.
All methods of sleep training entail some fussing and crying. You are teaching your baby a new skill and breaking old expectations.
While some crying is unavoidable the ‘Crying it out’ method is not advisable, as it can make your baby feel abandoned and emotionally insecure.
The goal of sleep training is not only to teach your baby to sleep through the night but, to teach your baby to fall asleep independently and to put himself back to sleep should he wake during the night.
Because babies pass through light sleep states every 45 minutes at night (up to an hour in toddlers), it is not possible to prevent your baby stirring at night (due to sleep cycles) but it is possible for you to teach your baby to go back to sleep without your assistance.
This means that you will give him a chance to see if he can put himself to sleep (or back to sleep). By not leaving your baby on his own for long periods of time and by portraying a message of consistency and confidence your baby will feel secure not abandoned.
When controlled crying for sleep training is done in the correct manner to meet your child’s needs on all levels, especially his emotional needs, there should be no negative effects whatsoever – in fact a well-rested child with well-rested parents plays an important part of creating a loving and secure home.
Have the courage to be firm, without guilt or fear that your baby will resent or love you less.
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]]>I hear it so often: “My baby cannot sleep through the night because he is teething really badly!”
Maybe I was just lucky that my son took teething in his stride; the sore gums, the drooling, the runny nose, the horrible nappies – all the usual “teething symptoms” was something I just read in books. But then, I also have to be honest – he was sleeping brilliantly.
You see, the good news is – your child is getting teeth! Fantastic, he won’t be the only baby that looks like a toothless little shark.
The bad news is, it might come with some sleeping problems.
The ugliness of it all may be that you will use your teething baby as an excuse for everything that has ever gone wrong in your life.
Now the question remains whether your little teething bundle of saliva can actually sleep, sleep train, be trained for sleep and sleep better, whilst teething.
The answer is a loud, very definite: YES.
If you are going to wait for your baby to stop teething before you actually train or teach him or her to sleep, you are going to wait more than two and a half years. Since sleep is a skill we need to teach our children, the faster we give them the gift of a good night’s sleep the better.
If you want your baby sleep through the night, take restful naps, be healthy, happy and still have teeth, you can help your baby or toddler by teaching him or her how to sleep unaided.
Think about it, if your little one can put himself to sleep without your help, he won’t wake you up during the night the five times he wakes at night because of sore gums.
In my experience, I have found that babies and tots who have learned the skill of sleeping, handle teething and illness much better.
Lastly, a good way to test whether your child is restless because of teething, is to think about whether he is showing other signs of teething, and whether it is also bothering him during the day.
It is important to remember that if your child is truly teething, it won’t just bother him at night!
About the Author: Good Night is a child and baby sleep consultancy that specialises in helping parents with children who struggle to sleep soundly. For more information, visit: www.goodnightbaby.co.za
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]]>The first half year of her life has been a busy one and she has achieved some major developmental milestones.
During the sixth month, baby continues to widen her vocabulary and makes a variety of pre-speech sounds. This includes laughing, squealing and chuckling when she is excited and screams of annoyance when she is irritated or angry.Your baby not only babbles in response to you, but also to amuse herself.
She has also realised that every action has a reaction, and knows that if she puts her arms out she will be picked up. From now on, everything that your baby is able to grasp at will land up in her mouth for further exploration. She will also pass an object from hand to hand and may even pick another object to compare it to her initial finding.
It is at this time, that your baby will also start to differentiate between the people that she knows and strangers. While she still may exhibit friendliness to a stranger, you will notice by her body language that she is slightly uneasy.
Your six month old baby will;
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]]>He has now doubled his birth weight and continues to grow 1cm per month.
During the fifth month, baby will probably spend a lot of time playing with his hands and fingers. He also tracks moving objects and voices (especially the voices of mom and dad).
While most babies sleep through the night by five months old, it is not a given for all babies. If you are struggling to get your baby to sleep through the night, perhaps it’s time you initiate a bedtime routine. A routine that is followed each night might encourage your baby to get into a regular night time sleep rhythm. Start with a warm bath, followed by a final feed and a few minutes of gentle rocking.
At this age, it is best to put your baby down drowsy rather than asleep. By doing so, you teach your baby to self soothe, rather than relying on you to do it for him. This will help baby put himself back to sleep should he wake up in the middle of the night.
Although your baby is becoming more active and demanding more play time, he will still need two naps during the day – one in the morning and one in the afternoon. Babies who don’t nap during the day tend to become overtired and fussy come evening time.
During the fifth month, your baby will;
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]]>Your baby is becoming more alert and will express herself through babbling, gurgling and smiles. She will also put anything and everything into her mouth, as taste is the way that she explores her world.
As your baby develops an inquisitive nature, it is important to remember not to leave small items lying around that she can choke on.
During this month, you can stimulate your baby by giving her different textures to explore or a rattle to shake. You can also give your baby more dangling toys that she can swipe at. At this age, baby’s love a change of scenery, so be sure to show her different things inside and outside of the house.
Remember, at this age your baby should spend almost as much time on her tummy as she does on her back. While on her tummy, she is stimulated to lift her head and chest. This is great preparation for crawling.
Your four month old baby will most likely;
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]]>Your baby is learning every day and is constantly taking in his surroundings. Be sure not to overstimulate your baby as this could lead to a fussiness which will be difficult to console.
This week, your baby will;
Have you introduced tummy time to your baby? Tummy time is important as it strengthens your baby’s neck muscles and prepares him for crawling.
Not all babies enjoy tummy time, so starting with just a few minutes per day is enough.Once baby is comfortable, you can increase the time to approximately 30 minutes per day.
Remember, baby will more willing to spend time on his tummy if you get down and engage with him.
At 10 weeks old, your baby will;
Is developing quite the personality. By now, you are probably in tune with his personality which makes it much easier to respond to his needs.
This week your baby;
Did you know that by now, your baby has grown on average approximately 2.5cm per month? This means that you are probably packing away your newborn clothes and even some of your 0-3 month outfits.
By three months your baby will;
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